The suicide of Robin Williams has brought to the forefront a serious topic.  It’s a darkness nobody really wants to talk or hear about – depression.  Sometimes and most sadly – the church, Christians – want to avoid it at all costs.  It’s just too negative.

Those of us who struggle with depression are told to simply get over it.  “Deal with it,”  “quit feeling sorry for yourself,”  and “get a grip” are some of the harsh words and thoughts thrown out. Even worse, and more cutting, people assume those who struggle with  it don’t understand God’s grace and forgiveness.

Labels are placed on those who battle the the Enemy’s words of, “You’re not good enough,” “nobody loves you, nobody really cares,” “they would be so much better without you.”    And those labels aren’t pretty.

But Robin Wiliams’ decision to end it all has forced everyone to take another look.   I hope Christians will as well, even more so.   It’s time for the church to offer hope to those we think should already have that hope…Christians.

The world is mourning a great comedian.  News people don’t know what to do with a man who, having brought laughter to millions, lost his own ability to smile.   They talk about the legacy he has left, but what about the man within?  Condemnation is heaped, but who was there in the bitterness of his nights, to know the person he really was?

Christians are throwing out trite answers such as, “this is what happens when someone doesn’t know Jesus Christ.”

And those of us who DO know Jesus Christ, and still suffer, hunker down and wonder, “Could this happen to me?”  We understand the demons that speak to the soul.  Robin lost the battle.  We do not want to, but the edge of the precipice is ever so close sometimes.

I won’t begin to argue whether or not Robin was a Christian.    I can only speak as a Christian who fights the battle.

It’s not like it’s a surprise to anyone…people have been whispering about it for years – the entire time my husband, Tom, has been in ministry (which only makes it worse).  People have seen it, and pointed fingers, talked, ridiculed, and tried to fix, and…..done everything but what it takes to help.   All in the name of love, of course.  I’ve been told I will ruin my husband’s ministry, I’m unloveable and I’m unfit.  (Oh, those words help!)

People tell those of us who battle this foe to “get help,” while they walk away with all the help a despondent person might need…love, a listening ear, care or time from a sincere brother or sister.  But those take time and getting down in the nitty gritty of a person’s life, where there’s muck and mire; well…eww….it’s ok, we’ll stay up here in our pretty people spots.

Advice seems to be abundant, but trust me, those words of advice are like shards of glass ripping the inner soul to pieces.    We’ve heard them all, we’ve inwardly recited them…over and over and over.  We’re also made to feel like we will never be able to contribute anything, especially to the Christian world.

Christians meet each other at church, or small group, or other venues and ask, “How are you?” without stopping to hear the answer.   Sometimes we don’t want to look deep into another’s soul because we may find ourselves there.

I know it’s no fun…hearing others’ stories, taking time out of our busy schedules to really love and care.   It may be a tad bit uncomfortable to hear that I was abandoned and horribly rejected as a child and can’t seem to “work through” those abandonment issues.   It may take patience and kindness.  It may take love.

My struggle will most likely be with there until I am perfected and made completely whole in his sight when I behold Him.   Some days I win, some days I simply hang on to a thread of the string that threatens to break.

God told Paul in 2 Corinthians, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”   And so, I come to you today, sharing my weakness, so that God’s power can be made perfect, and so that God can work through me to reach out to those who are hurting.

I understand that by embracing that weakness, God has developed compassion within me.  And quite honestly, I would rather be broken and have one of God’s greatest characteristics, than to be whole without it.

Depression – it can kill,  but it can give life as well.   Such an oxymoron.   In some of my most disheartened moments I have seen a Loving God, a Heavenly Father, Who keeps my tears in His bottle, Who holds me in the palm of His hands,   Who promises, “He will feed his flock like a shepherd.  He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart.  He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.”

Depression teaches me also to not live for this world.   I cling to the passages like Isaiah 65:17, 18, “Look! I am creating new heavens and a new earth,  and no one will even think about the old ones anymore.  Be glad; rejoice forever in my creation!   And look! I will create Jerusalem as a place of happiness.  Her people will be a source of joy.”  

So do yourself a favor, listen to someone’s story.  Ask someone how they are really doing, reach out to someone who is hurting so much they will turn to a bottle or pills.  Get dirty, take time, care.   You may just find yourself in the sandals of Jesus.